Feeling Beautiful

As you may know, I used to have really long hair, then I had really short hair, and now I'm in that awkward season of trying to grow it out a bit.

It's a horrible season.

Combined with tons of I'm-too-young-to-have-gray-hair feelings [no hair dye until after the baby], and maternity clothes that I'd just rather not wear, I was feeling low yesterday.

Then my hubby said those magic words,

"I need a haircut. You want to get haircuts together?!"

We do a lot together, but a couples haircut was a first for us.

I just got a little trim. Enough to look a bit better, a bit more like myself [or how I like to look anyway]. Just enough to feel ok with this time of a changing body and expanding belly and really, really gray hair.

As we walked out, Kyle told me,

"you're always beautiful, but you're even more beautiful when you feel beautiful."

Wow! What words.

Beauty has been on my mind for a long time lately. Beauty, the clothes we wear, our hair, our nails, all of it.

What we wear is important. The Lord delights when we feel beautiful and self-assured.

But He is also quick to tell us that beauty really does not come from outward things at all.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

The Lord cares so much more about our eternal worth and beauty than how we look day-to-day here on earth.

And I for one am jumping for joy at this truth.

We don't always feel beautiful in the earthly sense - a flesh and blood beauty is hard for me to muster up most days.

But eternally, the Lord has a whole heap of clothes for me to put on. They look good on any body, flatter every figure.

They're eternal clothes, fitted just for you.

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31: 25

I guess I'm curious...

what makes you feel beautiful?

and what makes you feel eternally beautiful?

For me, it's my new trim and the peace knowing that I was made to be so much more than my hair. The Lord has big plans for me in this life and a eternal life of joy waiting on the other side.

Make yourself busy with living.

There will be weeks when there is no work.

Weeks when your emails are quiet, your inbox is stagnant, your paypal account is scarily low.

It would be easy in those weeks to make yourself busy with worrying about whether or not the work will come again.  It would be easy to check all those inboxes over and over, waiting for the next order or inquiry.

But here's some advice: don't.

Instead, make yourself busy with life.  Enjoy the quiet moments, the naptimes empty of editing, the nights with your husband/your best friend/yourself with nothing pressing but good movies and good books.  Make something you haven't had time to make.  Pray for fresh ideas.  Reach out to people you want to collaborate with.

The work will come again.

Make yourself busy with living, with creating, and let Him take care of providing.

Changes

It seems like so many of us are going through seasons of change lately.

I am two weeks into one of the biggest changes of my life. My husband accepted a job in North Carolina and in the span of a month we packed up our apartment, we bought a house, I left my job, and the hubby and I (and my growing belly) made the move to the south.

In the midst of change, when everything seems to be different and lives are transitioning, the one thing I've rested on these past weeks has been the constant, consistent, and ever-present provision of the Lord.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8

It doesn't get more comforting and more wonderful than that.

During our move, friends kept saying that the Lord was already in our new town, preparing a way for us. And I feel Him here, now, in the walls of our home, in the people that we meet, in the plans we are setting forward, and the roots we are setting down.

He goes before us in everything and prepares a way.


How have you seen this in your life? Are you in a season of change and in need of prayer? God goes before us in all things--how can we come besides you?

The Sneakier Thief

via

If you've been on the internet – at all, anywhere – in the past six months, then you've seen this quote.  A lot of people are talking about it, making prints about it, and blogging about it, and that's because it's true.  There is nothing that has the potential to steal your joy faster than seeing someone who's doing something better than you.

That's the most obvious case, though.  You know, seeing a photographer who's taking the photos you want to take, a blogger with ridiculously high traffic, a writer with a successful book.

But there's something surprising about comparison: it works the other way, too.

Because if you're comforting yourself with the fact that you're doing better than a lot of other people, you're kind of missing the point. 

If you're motivated by staying one step ahead of everyone else, instead of by doing what you're doing because that's what you do when He's given you a gift, then your joy will be short-lived. 

The joy that lasts comes in the obedience, in the fellowship you find when you take what He's given you and do the best you can with it.

Any enjoyment that comes in beating someone else will be lost when someone else beats you.

I am not a dancer.

Did you guys read what Jessi wrote yesterday?  If not, you should.  Because it was really, really good.  And because I want to add something to it, and this just won't make as much sense if you haven't read that.

I taught a creative writing class this Spring at my church, and when the organizer sent me the description he'd planned to put in the advertisement, the first line said this:

"Everyone is a writer."

And I understood what he meant, because sure, everyone does some writing, whether it's an email, or a 140 character Tweet, or an etsy description, or an eBook (ahem, Jessi), or a bestselling novel, or a blog.  We all write, and we can all learn to write better.

But I'm going to be a little snooty now and say no, everyone is not a writer.

Like Jessi said yesterday, "What if we are missing out on what God has for us because we want to fit the mold of what He has for others?"


Because I watch So You Think You Can Dance, and gosh, I want to dance so badly.  


And I can crank up the music in my living room and dance like crazy.


But y'all, I am not a dancer.  Because everyone is not a dancer.  


And if that is your gift, I am so happy for you (and a little bit jealous).


But Jessi's writing gift, and your dancing gift, and April's drawing gift, and Laura's jewelry-making gift, and Lindsey's gift of making everything she touches so dang beautiful...they're all just completely amazing, because He gave them to us. 

So instead of fighting what you are, embrace it. 

Be the girl who makes rad jewelry.
Be the girl who writes beautiful poetry.
Be the girl who throws mean dinner parties.
Be the girl who knows how to run a business.
Be the girl who takes beautiful pictures of her children.
Be the girl you are, because that is the only person He made you to be.

if you're a singer

This is my precious bff here in Indiana, Mandy. 
I am using this photo with her permission. :)


Mandy isn't an excessive twitterer or instagram user. 
She keeps a blog, but she wouldn't define herself a blogger. 
She's creative and crafty, but she doesn't run an Etsy shop. 
She isn't super into social media and she isn't creating a brand. 
All that being said, she isn't in my online world and 
yet - I think she is one of the most valuable and wise women of God I know. 


Mandy is a singer. She's a songwriter. 
She's such a crazy gifted worship leader and songwriter that she doesn't even know how gifted she is. 
She doesn't see God's grace and power inside of her and stand in awe of it. 


I am not a singer. I cannot make myself a singer. 
If I tried for 40 hours a week, I could not have a successful singing career. 
If I wrote a song, it would be cheesy. 
If I decided to be a singer, I wouldn't be honoring who God has made me to be and in some ways - I wouldn't be honoring the precious talent that my beautiful friend has been gifted with by trying to imitate it. 


The other day my precious friend and I were talking about ways we wanted the Lord to use us and ways we both felt ineffective for Him. We were essentially comparing ourselves to women with other gifts - maybe women we didn't even know, just pictures we were making up in our heads. 


Later, as I was thinking and praying on Mandy and how precious she was, the Lord smacked me in the heart with how I'd failed to encourage her. I should have grabbed her by the face and said, "GIRL! You are a singer! God has given you a sick talent and you barely recognize it anymore because it is so natural and so easily used!". She doesn't need to write a book or run a shop or have a side catering company or be a professional sewist (though she probably COULD do all of those things) because He has given her this one thing that she is INCREDIBLE at. He's given her a lot, actually - I was just smacked with that one in particular. 


It would be silly to see a worship leader or professional recording artist and say, "I'm gonna do that tomorrow! I'm just gonna wake up and start!", because it's so obviously something you have to be gifted at. The world of online media isn't like that. Everyone feels like they could, or they NEED to have a shop, a blog, a cause, a brand, a following. 
But what if everyone isn't called?
What if everyone isn't gifted? 
What if we are missing out on what God has for us
because we want to fit the mold of what He has for others? 
What if we could be eternally profitable if we'd give up the idea of 
what we think we should be doing for what we should be doing? 


When Ellen and I first dreamed up Sashes a year ago, our biggest desire was to be an encouragement to creative women that also gave them the freedom to know - they might not be supposed to run a creative business. Do you feel that freedom? 
Do you know you don't have to be a singer? 


God has gifted YOU with something.
What is it? 

we will be found out.

the real deal

I was in the shower, where my only real thinking gets done (I'm sure yours too) and suddenly I was connecting all the dots. 


I'm scared of vacation because I will be in a bathing suit and I will be found out. 
I'm scared of relationship, real deep relationship, because when you settle into me - I will be found out. 
I'm scared of intimacy with my husband because at the end of it all, I will be found out. 
I'm scared of the internet and reality meeting, because I - will be found out. 


And what you will find. If you peel me back - layer by layer. 
Is not wisdom. Is not beauty. Is not cute. Is not crafty. Is not holy. Is not kind. 
What you will find is a fallen lady, broken and breaking along the way. 


And as the water rushed over me, cleaning nothing and exposing everything:
The truth remained. 
I will be found out. 
And that is good. 


Because what you'll find at the heart of me is Jesus. 
Jesus covered over by my vain attempts at putting on. 
Jesus covered over by failed tries at righteousness. 


But the best part is that He is not covered well. 
Honestly, you can't cover Him at all. 
It's His covering of me and my sin that leaves me RIGHT. 


So bring your best, world.
Come to prove me wrong and win. 
Come to find me out and find yourself
That I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live. 
But Christ who lives within me. 


And that's Good News. 

Upside-down

How do you get ahead in business?

Some experts tell us it’s by networking, burning the candle at both ends, being ruthless in our dealings.

But we serve a God who came to Earth to wreck this place. To turn it upside-down.

So let’s join Him. Let’s turn the marketplace upside-down.

Instead of networking, let’s build real relationships.

Instead of burning the candle at both ends, let’s get up while it’s still dark.

Instead of ruthless, let’s be faithful.

And let’s allow the God who entrusted us with this work to take care of the rest.

Giving into Grace

source

Boy, today is a great example of a day where I could use some grace.

I've spent all day in my office (typing this from my office!), and at 8:15pm my time, I see at least two more hours of work in my future.

I run a residence hall. Our students moved out Friday which means lots and lots of paperwork for me Monday. I've gone through just about every room in this 420 person hall, inspecting scrapes and scratches, moving forgotten items, and rummaging through stacks of closing documents.

Emails piled up today as I had to prioritize one important task over another.

And you know what didn't get prioritized. My post here. I forgot. I woke up yesterday telling myself "now make sure you write for Monday," and I woke up today far away from life online.

But you know what? I'm going to give into grace today and let it be ok.

Why is it so easy to understand God's grace, yet so often forget the grace we should allow ourselves and others?

That wiggle room to be busy. To forget. To not have time. To be too tired.

The grace to not be perfect.

How do you need to give into grace this week? Where in your life do you need a bit of allowance to not be perfect, but to be perfected in Him?

a personal beginning story

I loved reading your sweet comments last week about starting. Such sweet and honest thoughts.

I thought that maybe, y'all might like to hear a bit about how I got started with my own shop? Sometimes beginnings are flashy and big but sometimes they come in a soft whisper. My beginning came in gentle nudges.

I wanted to learn how to sew so that I could make my own pillows and curtains. I had just left my job to stay at home with our eight month old son and I had lots of energy and gumption to learn everything new.

I was happily making curtains for myself and my friends, enjoying having a creative project to work on bit by bit. Mostly I did it for fun. And I would have never felt enough courage to market myself as a seamstress or ask for money for my creations.

But, my friends believed in me and eventually someone recommended that I check in with a local custom boutique owner to see if she could use any help. I had made maybe three dresses for our daughter and I was six months pregnant with our third child.

For a month, I struggled with my fear of failure and being under qualified and being rejected. But. My husband continued to encourage me to try.

So. One morning, I took my pregnant self in there and I left with a stack of bowties to try my hand at. Soon after, my friendship with the owner grew and I was steadily doing work for her. And that little bit of creativity opened up so much in my heart. I taught myself how to make zippered bags and I started making my own patterns.

My sweet owner friend pushed me to try to sell my own things with my own label and I joined a few friends in a small holiday craft-like home show.

And then I was hooked. It's been four years now and I've had to make some hard decisions (maybe we'll talk about those in another post) and I've had to learn to think on a business level. I've been rejected. I've failed. I've been outdone.

But. I've been challenged. I've learned what it means to not be limited by a spirit of timidity, learned how much that isn't from the Lord. I've honed my abilities and stretched what I can do.

It didn't take being discovered by some fancy person. It didn't happen all of the sudden. My beginning was right there in the midst of a handful of people who loved me, believed in me and nudged me to step out.

What about you? Do you have a beginning story to tell?

letting go

source

Boy, this speaks to exactly where I am right now. All this talk of trusting in the Lord always, but when push comes to shove in my life, I realize how so very hard that can be sometime.

Does this speak to where you are? Can we pray for you?

We are so afraid sometimes, but in our hearts we know that when Jesus is in control of our lives, this is when the real fruit grows.

I will be praying this today. Can I pray for you?

for things kept close

Your fears? He knows them. Even the private ones.

Your failures? He sees them. Even the hidden ones.

Your triumphs? He authors them. Even the ones kept close.

Sometimes when we are at the beginning of things-and beginnings are like a record on repeat in our day to day lives-the best thing is to be at the beginning. And to be the open and laid bare that we already are.

You're afraid to start? He already knows it.

You're afraid of what will happen if your mind's eye fabulous isn't what really happens? He's already there.

You just can't bear a season of uncertainty? He's shoring it up.

So. If you are at a beginning today, this year, this month? Just go ahead and admit it. And step into it.

You are at the beginning. And He is there. Seeing and loving every part of you, your hope, your what if and your if then.

...but the winter blues

["twinkly blue christmas" notecard from lilly pad prints on Etsy]

I can feel them.

Creeping in.

As the temperature drops. And the sun finds permanent cover behind the clouds.

My mind gets a little hazier.

My spirits get a little lower.

My heart gets a little darker.

I try to pretend they're not there.

I try to find my own place to hide.

...But the winter blues find me.

Have you been there? It's not even snowing where I am yet, but I'm already there.

Waking up tired. Wanting to just pull the covers over my head and sleep until March.

Relying on too many cups of coffee.

Being grouchy, and grumpy, and all those things that make me anything but a joy to be around.

And Isn't it funny? No matter how hard the winter was before, summer always seems to give me the biggest case of amnesia. Every winter I am in shock by how absolutely miserable it can be. It's like I had no idea it was coming!

Let me ask you, what do you do when you're there?

"You, Lord, keep my lamp burning;

my God turns my darkness into light."

Psalm 18:28

So you hear that, winter blues? My God is a powerful God and His light is stronger than anything you can throw at me. Yes, you might beat me on a few days. But the battle has already been won.

in support of margins

This is a manifesto of sorts. For margins.

If your work calls your name first thing in the morning? So loud that you can't make five minutes to be about your Maker and what He has to say to you? Put your work where it belongs.

If your work crowds out your family so that service to them is a nuisance? So that you almost never say yes? Put your work where it belongs.

If you work isolates you from your community? If you can't stop to love a friend or stranger? If you don't even know your neighbor's name? Put your work where it belongs.

Because your work? Will be better where it belongs. It will be stronger. Because it flows out of who you are. And who you are is every bit Who made you.

And He has said, "Meet Me in the morning."

And He has said, "Submit to one another."

And He has said, "Feed my sheep."

Put your work where it belongs. It doesn't belong in the white spaces that say, this? This is a life. And this life is a story. And this story is valuable. And this story is to be read. Because of Who is writing. it.

what's in a number

I recently heard that Goolge is getting rid of Google Friend connect for non-blogger users and they are encouraging them use another one of their social networking platforms, Google+.

[More information can be found here.]

Although I host my blog through Blogger and am [for now] not affected, I hopped onto Google+ just to see what it was all about.

And the whole time, you know what I was thinking?

Oh great, another number I will compare myself against.

We all do it.

We use our "numbers" to see how well we're doing.

We use them to define our success.

We compare ourselves to others using them, seeing how we add up.

We let them make us feel inadequate.

And you know what I'm talking about.

The number of folks that subscribe to our blogs.

The number of followers on Twitter.

The number of sales in our shops.

The number of likes on our Facebook pages.

It's got to stop.

For my sanity and yours, let's please find new numbers.

697: the number of times the word love appears in the bible

3: representing the trinity,

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations,

baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit"

Matthew 28:19   

The Book of Numbers: "The message of the Book of Numbers, is universal and timeless.

It reminds believers of the spiritual warfare in which they are engaged,

for Numbers is the book of the service and walk of God's people."

8: the number of beatitudes

31 [Proverbs]: "She is worth far more than rubies."

48: the number of times the word perfect appears in the bible; 

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the

Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

4:6 [James]: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, 'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.'     

So, how will you measure success? What number will you choose? Mine's 3:5.

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4

shaken up to love

Hi sweet ladies. 
I'll tell you what, we've been reading back over your answers from your questions last week and it has been sweet, sweet, sweet to get to know you. 
Here's what I (think) know about you women:


You want to love well. 
You want to be a blessing. 
You're all over the US. (and elsewhere!)
You like the internet, but you're cautious with your time and your hearts. 


I had a thought this morning that is stirring in me and I hope will be a blessing to all of us. Wives. Single ladies. Business owners. Daughters. Sisters. Friends. 


About two weeks ago, I was reading in the Psalms and the Lord knocked me over (once again) with the truth that His grace and His love for us is lavish and uncomfortable. I have a bad habit of reading things in scripture that are about "righteous" "blameless" and "upright" people (a good chunk of the psalms) and discounting myself from that lot. Because I am surely not righteous, blameless, or upright. 


And that morning, the Lord really sweetly and extravagantly began instructing my heart that because of His Son, because of Jesus. I was counted all those things. By grace, through faith in Jesus, I have been made righteous. I have been made blameless. I have been made upright. I am very much still an active sinner, but I'm found worthy by the blood of the Lamb when I approach the Father. It took me a week to chew on those things. Maybe we should all take a minute and chew on them now. 
But this morning, the Spirit started unraveling a new thought in me. 


This grace we've received is amazing. And our Father is to be praised and worshipped for it. 
But what if we combine the thought of John 3:16 with Philippians 2:3 that says, "consider others better than yourself". We can't just marvel at God's great grace and mercy and love for us, how we are co-heirs with Christ and made right with the Father WITHOUT also considering that this love should spur us to consider others better than ourselves. 


So I'm sitting with my hands open this morning. 
Asking the Lord to not only pummel my heart with the truth of His grace and goodness and love, but asking Him to give me eyes to see and ears to hear and hands to serve the people in my life in a way that screams to them - "God's love is lavish and wonderful for me, and YOU, it is even better for you. I will love you in a way that heaps His grace on you, before considering myself."


And I think that will mean breaking out of the routine of how I serve. It will cost my time and energy and maybe some self preservation. 


But hopefully, at the end of the day, we will all have experienced His lavish love and grace anew. Thoughts? 

two words.

Where are you in this whole juggling act of wife, mom, friend, creative type? Are you overcommitted? Are you working toward a fierce deadline? Are you barely holding it together? Are you having to let some things go?

No pretty pictures today or fancy graphics. Just two words.

Grace and Stop.

Sometimes life brings seasons of overwhelming. Seasons of saying no or not yet. Seasons of chaos. You're not the only one. You're not the only one who feels like you're drowning. And you're not the only one with an ironing pile from here to kingdom come. Wherever you are, will you have grace for how you got there?

Life doesn't stop itself. We'll always feel emergencies. There will always be urgent. But. Will you stop this weekend? Tend to your family? Tend to your home? Tend to your creative spirit? Tend to your disciplined spirit? It doesn't take much. Don't burden yourself with huge expectations. Just give what you can.

______________________________________________

Will you do something today? Will you share in the comments what you need to stop for? We'd like to pray for you this weekend.

in the midst of the everyday.

Hi. It's Ellen. Jessi and I pray for y'all daily. For the burden of being wives and mothers and friends and feeling successful and significant and just plain not like a failure. And I was thinking of you and our conversations as I was posting this on my own blog. So I'm posting it here, too. We're thankful for each of you.

there’s a thrum building.

it’s the just a bit mores and the striving and the if onlys.

it’s the restlessness of a heart grasping for something more. something else. somewhere else.

maybe your house doesn’t feel like enough. if you could just fix that one thing.

maybe money is thin. if it would just stretch and not give out.

maybe you aren’t who or where you thought you’d be last time around. if you were just better, brighter, bigger.

there’s a thrum building.

a restlessness eluded by happiness.

tomorrow?

i hope happiness and joy creep up and hit you so hard in the chest that you can’t even catch your breath. that tears sting your eyes.

i’m praying it for me, too.

this striving?

this restlessness?

this thrum?

it’s not the road to abiding joy.

cease striving.

stop. notice. let the joy of your everyday life smack you to the core.

be still.

it’s going to smart. so much.

but. it’s the only way to resist the underlying discontent that can snake it’s way over our hearts at this time of year.

a season intended for Joy. for Rescue. for Promise. for Hope.

not for not enough. not for just a bit more.

this life given to you is enough.

enough.

stand under that hope. it’s right here.

even if it crushes you. even if you can’t breathe because it hits you so hard.

more on fame {a video post}

Our precious earrings are made by one of our lovely sponsors, Laura. You can shop her collection right here.

take what belongs to you.

matthew 20

You and I, we've been given some coins. 
Some blessings, some hardships, some tools in our tool belt. 
We're completely undeserving of all of them. We don't deserve the blessings and we don't deserve the redemption that comes with the hardship. 
We don't deserve these testimonies, these gifts. 


Can we please, wait - CAN I PLEASE be convinced to tear my eyes away from the hands of the worker beside me and stop comparing begrudgingly or stop focusing pridefully on the shiny objects in my hand?
We should all be on the ground, on our faces, praising the One who hired us. 


The other day a sweet friend of mine used the most precious phrase. She said "women of the movement". She was talking about a group of women (that I was not included in) who are so intentional, so missional, so bent on discipling other women that they are truly - women of a movement. She didn't say it to make me feel excluded, it was just an accurate description. I confessed to her a few days later that I spent way too much time buried in lies about how I'd never be a part of the movement until I realized that the Lord had a movement of His own for me. I have gifts and abilities and testimonies and a voice, none of which I've made or purposed myself, I've received each and every one from Him. 


But oh what a good (and evil) plan of our enemy. If He can distract us long enough and get us comparing our (undeserved) wages, we won't go and steward them. We won't go and use them. We won't help others to use theirs. And you know what's even more dangerous - if we look at them discouraged for too long, other women will see us looking at what we have downtrodden and follow suit. 


And if we go to one another, wanting to display our lies rather than join one another in praising Him for our coins - there is a huge chance we'll only continually discourage one another. I told my friend, once I'd confessed to her, I refused to even list out all the lies I was believing. Because a of all) I didn't want her to be tempted into believing them about herself and b of all) it would take away time that we could spend praising the Lord for the gifts He's given. 


So let's be real for a minute, sisters. 
You have some gifts. Real, true gifts. 
Maybe your biggest gifts are even your hardest testimonies or your biggest thorns. 
Whatever they are, let's drop to our knees in praise that we've been invited to use them. 
And then, let's use them. 


Like I tell my kids when they fight over which lollipop color I just gave them.
You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.
Or like Jesus says,
Take what belongs to you & go.