take what belongs to you.

matthew 20

You and I, we've been given some coins. 
Some blessings, some hardships, some tools in our tool belt. 
We're completely undeserving of all of them. We don't deserve the blessings and we don't deserve the redemption that comes with the hardship. 
We don't deserve these testimonies, these gifts. 


Can we please, wait - CAN I PLEASE be convinced to tear my eyes away from the hands of the worker beside me and stop comparing begrudgingly or stop focusing pridefully on the shiny objects in my hand?
We should all be on the ground, on our faces, praising the One who hired us. 


The other day a sweet friend of mine used the most precious phrase. She said "women of the movement". She was talking about a group of women (that I was not included in) who are so intentional, so missional, so bent on discipling other women that they are truly - women of a movement. She didn't say it to make me feel excluded, it was just an accurate description. I confessed to her a few days later that I spent way too much time buried in lies about how I'd never be a part of the movement until I realized that the Lord had a movement of His own for me. I have gifts and abilities and testimonies and a voice, none of which I've made or purposed myself, I've received each and every one from Him. 


But oh what a good (and evil) plan of our enemy. If He can distract us long enough and get us comparing our (undeserved) wages, we won't go and steward them. We won't go and use them. We won't help others to use theirs. And you know what's even more dangerous - if we look at them discouraged for too long, other women will see us looking at what we have downtrodden and follow suit. 


And if we go to one another, wanting to display our lies rather than join one another in praising Him for our coins - there is a huge chance we'll only continually discourage one another. I told my friend, once I'd confessed to her, I refused to even list out all the lies I was believing. Because a of all) I didn't want her to be tempted into believing them about herself and b of all) it would take away time that we could spend praising the Lord for the gifts He's given. 


So let's be real for a minute, sisters. 
You have some gifts. Real, true gifts. 
Maybe your biggest gifts are even your hardest testimonies or your biggest thorns. 
Whatever they are, let's drop to our knees in praise that we've been invited to use them. 
And then, let's use them. 


Like I tell my kids when they fight over which lollipop color I just gave them.
You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.
Or like Jesus says,
Take what belongs to you & go.