we will be found out.

the real deal

I was in the shower, where my only real thinking gets done (I'm sure yours too) and suddenly I was connecting all the dots. 


I'm scared of vacation because I will be in a bathing suit and I will be found out. 
I'm scared of relationship, real deep relationship, because when you settle into me - I will be found out. 
I'm scared of intimacy with my husband because at the end of it all, I will be found out. 
I'm scared of the internet and reality meeting, because I - will be found out. 


And what you will find. If you peel me back - layer by layer. 
Is not wisdom. Is not beauty. Is not cute. Is not crafty. Is not holy. Is not kind. 
What you will find is a fallen lady, broken and breaking along the way. 


And as the water rushed over me, cleaning nothing and exposing everything:
The truth remained. 
I will be found out. 
And that is good. 


Because what you'll find at the heart of me is Jesus. 
Jesus covered over by my vain attempts at putting on. 
Jesus covered over by failed tries at righteousness. 


But the best part is that He is not covered well. 
Honestly, you can't cover Him at all. 
It's His covering of me and my sin that leaves me RIGHT. 


So bring your best, world.
Come to prove me wrong and win. 
Come to find me out and find yourself
That I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live. 
But Christ who lives within me. 


And that's Good News.